Emily and the Unfinished Season
by eLKayeM
Summary: My take on the way the season of Emily Owens, M.D. might have unfolded, beginning after the series finale. Starts with Ep 14, Emily and the Sense of Shame. This is my first foray into fan fiction, so I would appreciate any comments or advice! Thanks
1. Chapter 1

Emily and the Sense of Shame

_Born the product of an adulterous affair, I was schooled in the intricacies of shame from an early age. Most of the judgments were unstated, but even as a kid I felt the weight of the silence and the flicker of distaste I saw on the face of the face of teachers learning I didn't have a father to sign paperwork or the parents of my classmates when they realized my mother was a 'home wrecker." There was an odd sort of freedom to being seen as the symbol of my mother's shame; no amount of bad behavior could shock the system as much as my parentage. I learned to work hard at school and at my music, to earn by my accomplishments the respect that other kids seemed to get just from being born into regular families. And for my sake, I try as hard as I can to avoid the impetuous mistakes my mother rushes into time and again. But each time I slip, I'm surrounded by the shame once again._

Emily sits hunched over on her bed, as Will lays on the bed, starring resolutely at the ceiling. "Are you OK?" he asks. "I'll be fine," she replies. "But, Will, I think…"

"I'm sorry, Emily. That's never happened before. I don't know what…"

She interrupts him: "Put it out of your mind. It doesn't matter. Actually, it stopped us from making a worse mistake."

"This was not a mistake! Obviously tonight didn't work out the way either of us wanted. But Emily, I need you in my life. I don't know why I fought my feelings for you for so long. You make me a better person. Let's start again, slowly this time. Can I take you out for dinner tonight?" As he speaks, he sits up behind her and wraps his arms around her. He nuzzles close to her ear and purrs seductively, "I promise you that the next time we have sex, it will blow your mind."

She shudders slightly as she pulls away. "Will, there won't be a next time. Tonight made it very clear to me that all we are ever going to be is friends."

"That's just the disappointment talking, Emily. If I'd been able to…you know, then you wouldn't be having these doubts. You have to give me another chance."

"I'm sorry, Will. It's not going to happen. You should go. Oh, not again!" Emily rushes to the bathroom. As he hears the retching sound, Will puts his clothes on.

He knocks and uses his most charming tone of voice. "Can't I stay and take care of you? I am a doctor, you know."

"No, I'm fine." _Just go! _"I'm off tomorrow. Rest is all I need."

Will reluctantly walks towards the door. As he opens it, he sees Tyra there with her purse open, fumbling for her key.

"Oh, hey, perfect timing, Micah. Just looking for my keys." Tyra says, unsteadily. She looks up, sees who it is, and gapes. She blinks at him a few times. "Will? You're an unexpected ending to my walk of shame. What are you doing here?"

Will shakes his head as he lets Tyra in and closes the door behind her. "See you, Tyra."

Late the next morning, Tyra stumbles into the kitchen and practically inhales a cup of coffee. She notices Emily sitting at the table, rubbing her forehead as she scrolls through her phone. "You look even worse than I feel, and that's saying something." Emily groans. Tyra continues: "So, you're with Will now after all? I'm confused. Wasn't it just yesterday that you couldn't stop talking about Micah?"

"No, I'm not with Will," Emily says, checking out her phone as a new text message appears. "That slimy, lying, two-faced, narcissistic jerk!"

Tyra looked confused. "Hmmm. I know I called him Micah, but I could have sworn it was actually Will I passed late last night, still getting dressed as he walked out the door. Was I hallucinating, or is there something I'm missing here?"

"No, you're not crazy. I am. I must be. Sweet, smart, sexy Micah offered me his heart. Will got jealous, and turned on the charm. He said everything I've ever wanted to hear from him and more, and when he showed up at the door I literally jumped on him."

"So, what's the problem? Maybe you should just date Will for a while, get him out of your system."

"Oh, he's out of my system, all right. We had just ripped each other's clothes off and were about to, um." Emily pauses, red-faced. "I can't even talk about it. I'll just say that I threw up and he couldn't stay up."

Tyra really tries to keep a straight face. She attempts to hide her giggles by coughing. "Sounds awkward. But you're still leaving something out."

Emily sighs. "I told him it was a mistake, but he tells me some line about how he has been fighting his feelings all this time, and that he needs me. He has been texting me pretty much non-stop since last night."

Tyra grimaces; she's never really liked Will. "That sounds sweet, I guess."

"No, no, no. He must have gotten really drunk. He sent a bunch of rambling texts telling me that he loves me and sees a future for us. Then he started leaving voice mails, at the same time as all the texts, but he somehow misdialed and thought he was calling Cassandra. All his voice mails to her beg her to take him back and promise her that he really did choose her and will cut me out of his life if that's what she wants him to do. "

"What an ass!" Tyra shouts indignantly. "I never liked him anyway. What are you going to do about Micah, then? You can't tell him any of this!"

Emily sighs and puts her head in her hands again.

Early morning sunshine peeks through the windows as Dr. Gina Bandari strides down the hall. "Welcome back," a brave nurse offers as she passes by, and is rewarded by a slight smirk and a small wave. Her heels tap forcefully into the first patient's room for grand rounds, all the interns and Micah instantly appearing around her. "Dr. Dupre, report please." Tyra somewhat nervously rattles off the patient's vital stats. Emily looks up to see both Micah and Will staring at her. _Oh God, what am I going to do? _Almost unconsciously, Emily smiles at Micah before looking down at her notes again.

On the way to the next room, Will anxiously whispers, "Didn't you get any of my texts?" Emily's brow furrows as she quietly replies, "Every. Single. One. Lots of voice mails too." Will looks confused and starts to ask her something else. Emily glares at him as she pushes past him to follow Dr. Bandari. She squares her shoulders and tries to focus.

As cases are doled out to interns in pairs, Emily begins to get nervous. _I'm usually assigned to one of the first cases. Did I do something wrong?_ Finally they walk into a room with an empty bed. Micah, Emily, and Will look around, confused, as they realized that they are the only three left. Dr. Bandari turns to Emily: "Dr. Owens, I've been informed that we have a potential candidate for the research project being transported in from Boulder General. You will be paged when she arrives. Obviously, time is of the essence—if surgery is begun more than 5 hours after the incident, the case is ineligible for the study. Do a quick but through workup on her, and report immediately to Dr. Barnes. If she's a viable candidate, we will implant the first V Cuff today and finally begin this phase of the project. Dr. Collins, you are expected in Legal, and will be off the roster until such time as they have cleared you. Dr. Barnes, why don't you fill me in on the last week on the way to my office?" Dr. Bandari sweeps out of the room, with Micah pausing only to send a quick glance back at Emily and Will. Will's jaw clenches and his face becomes mottled. "Will," she says softly, concern obvious in her tone. "Guess I should have expected it," he says as he hurries towards the elevators, not wanting to see the pity in her eyes.

Emily heads to the nurses' station to inquire about the patient from Boulder. The nurses aren't able to give her a name or any information, beyond that the transport left Boulder over an hour ago, so should have already arrived. "You don't happen to have the number for the Surgery Department there, would you?" she asks Nurse Sunny, who immediately pulls a page from behind the desk and hands it to Emily. She reaches the attending physician for the patient without too much trouble, and after a quick explanation, sees medical records for Loretta Cooper spitting out the fax machine. _Good thing we still have one of these dinosaurs around, _she thinks as she pages through the records, making notes. Her pager beeps, and she runs halfway to the room prepared for Mrs. Cooper when she sees that the room number on the page. _That's Joyce's room. I should hurry._


	2. Chapter 2, Emily and the Sense of Shame

Emily bursts into Joyce's room. Seeing the expression on her face, Micah quickly murmurs, "Whoa, nothing to worry about here. She's had a few rough nights, but she's sleeping peacefully right now. She needs a few tests, but I couldn't bear to wake her yet."

Emily breathes a sigh of relief. "OK, good." Her insides twist into knots. _How am I going to tell him? _"You paged me?" She looks up to catch him gazing at her, a smile spreading across his face.

"I know you're still waiting for the study patient to arrive, so thought I'd take the opportunity to say hi. I missed you yesterday," Micah says softly, moving close enough that their shoulders touch.

"Me too," Emily says before she can stop herself. _I wish I could just stop time now, while he still likes me. _She sighs again. _Tell him. _Joyce's eyes flutter, but neither Micah nor Emily notices.

"I've been running around after Liz, trying to prevent the disasters that always follow in her wake. She's only had a few minor blow-ups, so I'm actually starting to get nervous. It feels like the calm before the storm." Micah runs his hand through his hair. Teasingly he adds, "and I've been racking my brain trying to think of a way to top the records room. I may have come up with just the right plan." His goofy smile starts to fade as he sees the look of apprehension on her face. Emily tries to speak, but Micah interrupts her. He playfully puts a finger over her lips as he says, "No, no, no. I told you I won't let you get out of it."

Emily reaches for his hand and squeezes it briefly before letting it drop to his side. Her eyes begin to water. "Micah." She pauses a moment before continuing. "I'm not trying to get out of it, but when I say what I need to say, I will understand if you want to." The beeping on Joyce's heart monitor speeds up and her eyes crack open a little, but she holds still.

Micah's face registers hurt and confusion, and he takes a step backwards. "That's not going to happen, Emily. What's going on? When I saw you and Will just now it sure seemed like you were over him. So what could possibly be the issue?"

"I am over him." The finality in her voice convinces him that she really means it this time. She presses her lips together and fights back tears. "But I got over him in the worst possible way."

He sounds reassuring as he says, "I'm not sure there is a bad way to get over that guy."

"I went to bed with him."

Micah stares at Emily in disbelief. "No!" She looks directly into his eyes, misery and shame writ clearly on her face. He sees the truth in her face, and his eyes become hard. "What were you thinking?" he whispered furiously, venom in his tone.

"Micah, I feel terrible about this," Emily says, blinking back tears.

"You should! What the hell, Emily? We just decided to go out two days ago. Two days!" His voice turns bitter. "Congratulations. I think you edged out even my psycho college girlfriend in the 'how soon can I cheat on Micah' competition." He paces over to the window, where he struggles to get himself under control.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I would do anything to take that moment, that impulse, back. Anything. I have never regretted anything more." Emily stares at him, searching for any hint of mercy or forgiveness. He is clenching and unclenching his fists, looking out the window, back to her. Her heart aches with the pain she has caused him.

He turns his head and mockingly asks, "What happened to the over thinker? The girl who looks before she leaps? I thought it was your mother who's flighty and impulsive and hops from man to man."

_Ouch, that was a direct hit. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if I hadn't been thinking the same thing. I tried so hard to make better choices, but I feel just like Mom._ The sound of Emily's pager going off startles all three of them. Emily glances at Micah when she looks up from her pager. "Micah, about this case…"

"I need a few minutes, Dr. Owens. I know we need to work together, and we will be professional and give our patients the care they deserve. But I'm going to need a few minutes first."

Emily turns to walk out the door. Her eyes widen as she sees Joyce, who is now sitting up and looks crushed. "Oh!" Emily says as she rushes from the room. Joyce looks over to see Micah rubbing at his eyes. Joyce tenderly says, "Oh, my Micah Mouse." Micah walks over and takes her hand. "Mom," he says miserably. She gently strokes his hand as he stares blindly out the window.

* * *

Will sits on the edge of the chair directly across from the lawyer. They are separated by an imposing desk with a plaque reading "Russell Arbuthnot III, Chief Legal Officer and General Counsel." The lawyer's salt and pepper hair contrasts nicely with his flawless Armani suit. Will pulls his white coat closer to himself, trying ineffectively to cover a small stain he just noticed on his scrubs. His head swims as he tries to focus.

"…lacking in sufficient regard for the status and legal standing of this institution. Your blatant disregard for hospital policy in this matter and cavalier issuance of an apology without authorization from and proper witnessing by a representative of this office has put both this hospital's financial standing and the continuance of your career in jeopardy. Have I made myself perfectly clear?"

"Yes, sir," Will mumbles.

"Fortunately for everyone involved, the medical records themselves are impeccably written and fully supported by all relevant documentation, for which you are indebted to Dr. Kopelson. All you need to do in this meeting is keep your mouth sealed shut. Do you think you can manage that?" Will nods.

* * *

_Compartmentalize, Emily. Deal with those feelings later. Focus on the case. If this patient is going to make it into this research project, she needs to be fully vetted, tested, and prepped in the next… _Emily checks her pager for the time. _…two hours! Eep! And her medical records made no sense at all. It's almost as if she were a different person every time she checked into the hospital. _Emily calls out to the charge nurse as she passes the nurses' station. "Please have an OR prepped and available for Dr. Bandari's V Cuff insertion." The nurse nods, and then says "Dr. Owens, they can't all be in there like that. It's against regulations." _What is she talking about?_

Emily stops to catch her breath before entering the room, not wanting to appear flustered in front of a patient. She wrinkles her nose in confusion at the noises she hears, and steps into the doorway. The room is in chaos. There are two gurneys parked on either side of the single hospital bed, both containing remarkably similar-looking women who appear to be unconscious. The orderlies at the head and foot of each gurney are shouting at one another, with both sets apparently attempting to move their patient onto the bed. Two men, identical down to their clothes and hairstyle, are shouting at each other, trying to be heard above the uncountable number of children laughing and screaming as they careen around the tiny room.

"STOP," Emily bellows. Miraculously, all noise and movement in the room ceases and every person in the room turns to stare at her. "I'm Dr. Owens. Can you [she points to the man shaking in the corner, wearing an EMT uniform] tell me why there are two patients in this room and which one of them is Loretta Cooper?"

The EMT looks at her in despair. "I don't know. The only ones that can tell them apart are the husbands, and they both claim that their wife is the real Loretta Cooper."


	3. Chapter 3, Emily and the Sense of Shame

Tyra walks into the Emergency Department, and the charge nurse tells her, "Abdominal pain, Bay 3." She glances at the chart before pulling back the curtain to find a young teen girl curled into the fetal position on the bed, and a worried-looking woman telling her, "You're going to be all right, Sarah. The doctor's going to come in soon, and we will figure out what's wrong. It's all going to be OK."

"I'm Dr. Dupre. How old are you, Sarah?"

Sarah looks at Tyra, then glances up at the woman next to her, who answers, "She's 15."

"What bring you here today, Sarah?" Tyra asks, directing the question towards the girl.

After a pause, the woman answers: "She's in pain. She started holding her stomach this morning, and at breakfast she passed out onto the table. It seems to get worse when she moves."

Tyra pulls out her stethoscope and listens to Sarah's breathing. The girl pulls away slightly when touched, but still doesn't make a sound. "This may hurt a bit," Tyra says as she palpitates the abdomen. Sarah gasps in pain, and curls into a ball again.

"You are showing symptoms of appendicitis. I'm going to request some labs and do an ultrasound to make sure that is what's causing your pain. You probably know that there's always a risk for rupture in appendicitis, so if we confirm the diagnosis, we will move into surgery quickly." As excited as she was by the prospect of assisting on the appendectomy—she hadn't seen the inside of an OR in a few days—Tyra starts to see that something is off in this situation. She looks at the patient again, noticing fading bruises around the wrists, and the way the girl rarely takes her eyes off the woman with her.

Tyra sticks her head out of the curtain, and asks the nurse to bring in an ultrasound machine and to take some blood for the labs. She also calls upstairs to have the OR prepped. That taken care of, she turns to the woman and asks, "Is Sarah always this quiet?"

"Yes. That is, I don't know if she's always quiet, but in the three weeks she has been staying with us, she hasn't spoken more than a few words." At Tyra's confused look, the woman elaborates. "I'm Ellen. I provide emergency foster care. Sarah and her brother have been living with us for three weeks." That explains some of the awkwardness between the two, Tyra thinks.

"And the bruising on her wrists?"

Ellen answers, "It looked pretty fresh when she first arrived. Sarah hasn't wanted or been able to talk to me about how it occurred, and the county doesn't share that sort of information when they place children." The nurse comes in, wheeling the ultrasound machine. The nurse draws blood as Tyra gently asks Sarah to lift her shirt a few inches while she squirts some gel onto the girl's distended abdomen.

Tyra watches the screen in amazement as she slowly moves the wand around. The nurse returns and says "The labs should take just a few more minutes," then gets distracted by what she sees on the ultrasound screen. "Wow, I haven't seen anything like that before," the nurse says. Tyra, eyes still glued to the screen, says "Me neither." Sarah and her foster-mother look at each other in fear, and Ellen tentatively reaches out her hand and strokes Sarah's hand to comfort her.

* * *

Emily is beginning to bring the chaos in the room under control. The children have been temporarily banished to the waiting room, and the EMT has been allowed to retreat to the hall. Both patients now have beds, each with a worried husband pacing nearby, and multiple nurses have been recruited to bring in EKG machines and take blood to the lab. "What name do I put on the paperwork?" one of the nurses asks Emily. "We're calling this patient Alpha Cooper, and the other Beta Cooper, until we can sort out which is which," Emily replies. She attaches the EKG sensors to Alpha.

Micah enters the room wearing his most officious Chief Resident expression, and immediately scowls when he takes in the craziness of the scene. "Dr. Owens, report," he barks out, trying to be heard over the din. Only the electronic beeps of the monitors and machines continue, as everyone turns their attention to Emily. "Patients are Loretta and Leanne Cooper, monozygotic twins aged 43. Loretta and Leanne are married to another set of identical twins. Both patients have been under treatment for Coronary Heart Disease, under the name Loretta Cooper, due to Leanne's lack of health insurance. They alternated doctor visits and have been splitting the prescriptions. The patient we are calling Alpha was admitted to the ED in Boulder last night with unstable angina, and experienced an MI at 8:27 am. After stabilizing her, the ED called Dr. Bandari and arranged for her to be transferred here. On the way in, patient Beta suffered a cardiac event, and her family stopped their van and flagged down her sister's ambulance, which explains the transport delay."

Micah asks, "How do we not know which patient is which?"

Emily says, "The families are refusing to tell me until treatment of both patients has begun."

"When did Beta experience the presumed MI?"

"Approximately an hour after Alpha," Emily responds.

"What have you already done, Dr. Owens?"

"I've sent blood from both patients to the lab for enzymes, and have begun the EKG on Alpha. Beta needs an EKG, and both need an Echo."

Micah takes over, and starts issuing orders. "Page Dr. Bandari now," he tells a nurse, "we need to get authorization for two study patients, one uninsured. Ask her to meet Alpha for an Echocardiogram in five minutes. Dr. Owens, complete Alpha's EKG stat, and arrange for transport to Echo. Then go back to the medical record from Boulder. We need to get a baseline for each patient, so sort through and figure out which test results belong to which sister."

_Crap, that's probably impossible. _"Yes, Dr. Barnes." Emily hurries over to the EKG, which has already printed several feet of results. She sees Micah attaching sensors for Beta's EKG, and feels relieved to have turned over responsibility for this case to him.

After sending patient Alpha to the Echocardiogram room, Emily goes back to Loretta Cooper's medical records, which had so confused her before. Knowing now that it really was two separate people made the file much easier to understand, and by comparing the EKG printout in her hand to the ones in the chart, she begins to make two piles of documents. After a few minutes, she senses Micah standing behind her. _Breathe, Emily, he's just your boss right now. Just your boss._ She slides one of the piles towards him, and says "These should belong to your patient. Here's the last three months of EKG and blood tests." "Thanks," he says offhandedly, flipping through the pages and comparing results.

Dr. Bandari walks in and holds out her hand for the pile of papers Emily hands to her. "These are for Alpha?" she asks Emily. Emily nods. "Identical twins marrying identical twins, then each having more than one set of twins," Dr. Bandari mutters under her breath. "Hell of a first day back, hmm?" She gestures for Micah's set of papers, and circles a few things on the first page. "Good work, you two. Now get ready for back to back surgeries. The clock is ticking."

"Yes, Dr. Bandari" Micah and Emily say in unison.

* * *

Tyra drags her feet on her way to Molly's lab. She has been hoping to avoid going there, but Sarah's labs still haven't come through, and she need them to definitively rule out appendicitis.

"Hi, Molly," Tyra says ingratiatingly. "Do you have the results for Sarah Klein, from the ED?"

"Hi, Tyra," Molly says, coolly. "Sorry about the delay—lots of urgent cases today. I just finished with that one. Looks like WBC is 9.1, CRP is 7, and neutrophil percentage is 69."

"Really?" Tyra asks, and takes a minute to study the results. "So it's definitely not appendicitis, then. Bummer, I was really hoping for a surgery today. Thanks, anyway, Molly." She walks out of the room.

Tyra pauses at the doorway, and calls out to Molly softly. "Molly, I wanted to say that I am making some changes. I moved out of my parents' house."

"Good for you, Tyra." Molly's voice and demeanor begin to thaw. "That's a big step for you."

"Yes," Tyra says. "Maybe I am growing up after all."

Molly smiles ruefully. "That will be the day! So you found an apartment?"

Tyra shifts uncomfortably. "No, not exactly."

"Well, that leaves two options," Molly says. "With your issues, I doubt you would ever go that stereotypical second date route. So tell me, which friend are you mooching a couch from? Owens? Kopelson?"

"You don't know me as well as you think you do," huffs Tyra. In her hurry, Tyra stumbles into Liz Barnes, who has been loitering in the hall, eavesdropping on their conversation. Tyra and Liz exchange a long glance as they apologize to each other. As she walks down the hall, Tyra looks back to see Liz still staring at her. She smiles to herself as she takes the stairs to the ED.


	4. Chapter 4, Emily and the Sense of Shame

Emily walks into the anteroom to the operating suite. Drs. Bandari and Barnes are already at the sinks, beginning the process of scrubbing in. She waits for an open sink, knowing that it will take a few minutes for the other surgeons to wash their hands, nails, and arms. Dr. Bandari speaks loudly, to be heard over the running water: "Dr. Owens, we're under a time crunch today. Because we need to begin the surgery for the second patient within the next hour and forty-five minutes, a second team will close the first patient after we have implanted the V Cuff device. Dr. Hansen has volunteered to lead the second team, and will also observe during the first part of the surgery for the sake of patient care continuity. He will later be assisted by Dr. Aquino and Dr. Kopelson."

_Great,_ thinks Emily sarcastically, _Cassandra will just love that. I can almost hear her complaining about being called in to finish my surgery already. _She sees Dr. Hansen in the OR, already suited up. He is standing at the feet of patient Alpha, his hands resting lightly on the sterile field to show that he is scrubbed-in.

Dr. Bandari turns to Micah, and says with a lowered voice, "Speaking of Dr. Hansen, I have some unexpected news for you. He has been offered Chief of Surgery at St. John's in Springfield, so we will have an attending position open next year. I strongly suggest that your application be the first one on Dr. Dupre's desk tomorrow morning."

"Really? I had no idea there would be an opening here." says Micah, with interest in his voice. "Well, that might cause me to rethink my opinion on private practice versus an academic position."

They finish washing their hands, and allow them to air dry for a few seconds before pulling on their gloves. Dr. Bandari continues talking to Micah. "I'm surprised there is any doubt in your mind. Sure, private practice can offer fewer hours and more money, but you will get more surgeries and greater variety of cases at a busy teaching hospital. Plus, there's the teaching part, which you are exceptional at."

Micah laughs, "Stop. You'll make me blush."

Emily begins to scrub her hands as Dr. Bandari and Micah walk into the operating room. She resents the length of time required to scrub in, because she wants so much to be able to hear more of their conversation. The fact that the Chief Resident position only lasts for a year has been on her mind a lot lately, but she has only been thinking about how long it would be until Micah was no longer her direct supervisor. For the first time, Emily thinks a step beyond that to realize that there is a very high probability that Micah will move away next year for his new job. _Oh no! What would I do without him here? But what if he's still not talking to me? Wouldn't it be a relief to have him move on, if things are still so awkward between us then? No. No matter what, I want him to stay._

"Dr. Owens, just in time for the first cut," Dr. Bandari trills as Emily enters the operating room. _She's in a really good mood today. It's unsettling. _"As you can see, one of the main advancements of this device over the more traditional Left Ventricular Assist Devices is the size. It doesn't require a sternotomy, just access through here," she says, cutting into the patient as she explains what she is doing. Emily has now assisted in enough of the traditional LVAD insertions to appreciate how much less invasive the surgery is because of the compact, self-contained design of the V Cuff. Dr. Bandari continues to narrate the procedure as she performs it, often calling on Micah to reposition the scope or assist with suturing. Emily's respect for Dr. Bandari grows as she watches the surgeon's precise economy of movement. "Implantation complete," says Dr. Bandari. "Let's activate it now." Emily finds herself holding her breath as she stares at the image of the heart on the display screen. Suddenly the heart monitor begins beeping a regular rhythm, and the screen shows the heart contracting regularly.

Everyone in the room exhales simultaneously, and Emily joins in the chorus of excited congratulations directed toward Dr. Bandari. Dr. Hansen says, "What a historic event! I'll take over now, Gina. It's time for your second surgery." The surgeons switch places, passing each other back to back.

* * *

Will is sitting in a conference room between Mr. Arbuthnot and another hospital lawyer. Two women enter the room. Will recognizes Jules, the wife of Maggie, his long QT patient that died the other day. The other woman helps Jules get settled in her chair, then turns her piercing blue eyes upon Will and the lawyers. She flips her red hair behind her shoulder as she says "I am Amy Hedrick, representing my client Julia Hedrick in the matter of the death of Maggie Hedrick." She towers intimidatingly over the table for a moment before sitting down and pulling a file and a legal pad out of her briefcase. She looks at Will appraisingly. "I assume you are Dr. Collins?" He nods.

"Mrs. Hedrick, Julia Hedrick, has written an affidavit detailing a conversation with Dr. Collins, in which he apologized for prescribing the medication that caused the death of his patient, Maggie Hedrick. Dr. Collins, do you dispute that statement?"

Mr. Arbuthnot jumps in before Will can say anything. "I have advised my client against making any statement during this exploratory meeting. You may address your questions or statements to me. We are meeting here as a courtesy, in an attempt to reconcile the situation before an official complaint summons and complaint is filed."

Amy gives a perfunctory smiled that does not reach her eyes. "Your cooperation is duly noted and appreciated. Now, moving on…"

Jules looks up at Amy and interrupts with "Sweetie, is this necessary? You know the doctor was so kind to us. He already said he was sorry." Her voice trails off as she distractedly rubs her head. "So tired," she says under her breath.

"Don't let your emotions cloud the issue," Amy says sharply to Jules. She turns to Mr. Arbuthnot and slides a form across the table towards him. "Here is the official request for Maggie's medical records, along with a copy of the Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care Proxy forms designating that Julia has the right to request that information and bring suit."

"The hospital will not dispute Julia's right to the records. They are being assembled as we speak, and you should have them by the end of the day. I assure you, though, that your medical expert will find nothing amiss."

Amy scornfully says "Dr. Collins has already admitted to a fatal mistake. Our medical expert will scour that file for any additional symptoms that Dr. Collins overlooked or ignored in his rush to treatment. If he knew about her long QT so soon after she died, that information must be in the file. From what I understand, her previous use of antidepressants should have been an obvious indication of the possibility for long QT."

Jules shifts in her seat and rubs her neck. Will notes that she is beginning to perspire. She says, "Amy, dear, that won't be in the file. I'm the one who filled out all the paperwork for Maggie. She never told me she had taken antidepressants. Why didn't she ever tell me?" She wipes away a tear and rubs her neck again.

"It should be in the file, Mother!" Amy says. "There will be evidence, and we can make sure that this doctor endangers another patient with his negligence."

Will looks at Jules. "Mrs. Hedrick, are you all right?" She has slumped to the side of her chair, but is still awake and breathing."

Mr. Arbuthnot turns on Will. "You must remain quiet! Do not speak to anyone in this room, other than me."

Will tells him, "Then you better call a code blue, and quickly." He stands up and starts to walk over to Jules.

Amy kneels in front of Jules, asking her if she's OK. "She's just tired. She's been under a lot of stress the last few days," she tells Will. At the same time Mr. Arbuthnot sputters, "I can't call any sort of code. This is the administration wing. Sit down! You cannot touch that woman."

Will shouts, "I took an oath! Call now to get someone down here to help me!" Jules faints and slides off the chair as Will reaches her. He pulls out his stethoscope and listens to her heart. "Thready," he says to himself. He counts softly, still listening to her pulse as he adjusts her neck slightly to open her airway more. Amy is still kneeling nearby, calling out "Mom! Wake up! What's wrong with her?"

The door bursts open, and three people in scrubs crowd into the room, one of them trailing a gurney. Will sees one of his fellow interns, and tells him, "Bag her and take her up to the Cardiac ICU stat. Hook up the EKG right away. She'll probably need an angioplasty." The medical team lifts Jules onto the gurney and wheels her out.

Amy grabs Will by his arm. "What happened? Where are they taking her? You have to take me to her."

"It looks like she's having a heart attack, but they will need to confirm that upstairs. It's lucky she was here. Most women don't recognize their symptoms as a heart attack until it's too late to treat them effectively. But she's starting treatment immediately, and she's in the very best hands," Will says reassuringly. As they stand, Will realizes that she is almost his height. He also notices how beautiful she is. She pulls him out of the room, demanding that he take her to her mother. "I can't lose both parents in one week. You have to save her," she says as they walk quickly towards the elevator, leaving the lawyers alone in the conference room.

* * *

Tyra pulls back the curtain on Sarah and Ellen, who look at her apprehensively. "What did the tests say? Does she need surgery?" Ellen asks.

"No," Tyra replies. "The blood tests ruled out appendicitis, so there is no need for surgery."

"So what's wrong then? She's in so much pain," says Ellen.

"Sarah, when was the last time you had a bowel movement?" Tyra asked. Sarah shrugged. "In the last week?" Sarah shakes her head. "Two weeks ago?" Sarah shakes her head again. "Three? Four? Your intestines are full, I mean completely full, of feces. It's no wonder you are in pain. All that poop is pressing on your internal organs. It's also possible it has caused some urinary incontinence. Have you wet the bed recently?" Sarah nods, looking embarrassed.

"I didn't realize," says Ellen. "That's pretty common in traumatized kids of any age, so I didn't even think twice when I started to find wet sheets."

"It's likely that will stop once we clear out your bowel, Sarah. This is probably all a reaction to the stress you have experienced over the past few weeks. I'm going to recommend a laxative for you to take regularly for a few weeks when you leave here. You will probably feel sore for a few days, but it's important that you not let that keep you from having regular bowel movements. Believe me, you won't want to go through this twice. For now, take this laxative and drink this entire container of water. The nurse and I will come back in about twenty minutes to disimpact your bowel."

Tyra finds the nurses arguing over who will assist her. The one who draws the short straw curses, and makes a disgusted face, but tells Tyra she will have everything ready soon. "This is going to be so gross!" Tyra says to herself as she goes to the locker room to put her white coat somewhere safe.


	5. Chapter 5, Emily and the Sense of Shame

Emily, Micah, and Dr. Bandari are in the surgical anteroom, scrubbing in before the second surgery. Dr. Bandari motions to Micah and Emily to wash first, explaining to Micah that he will be performing the next operation while she observes. "Watch one, do one, teach one," she reminds him. "Dr. Owens will assist you. And please, think about what I said. Apply for the attending position. I've already told the chief that you should be at the top of our list."

"Thank you, Gina, that means a lot coming from you," says Micah, who is doing his best not to look at Emily.

"Don't thank me too much. It's all in my best interests, I assure you. Do you realize that this department has never had such a low attrition rate among surgical interns as this year? Usually at least five have dropped out or changed specialties by this point. No one has dropped out yet this year, and I know it isn't because I have all of a sudden become pleasant to work for. What do you think, Dr. Owens?"

"No, you're not that pleasant to work for," Emily blurts out. Dr. Bandari laughs. Micah looks at Emily in amazement, eyebrows raised. _Oh my God! I did not just say that! Just when she was starting to like, well, tolerate me. Please don't throw me out of the operating room! _"I mean, Dr. Barnes provides an important buffer, er…balance between preparing us to face the rigors of the profession and encouraging us."

"Good save, Dr. Owens," Dr. Bandari says drily, but still with a smile upon her face.

_That must have been an amazing vacation! She's like a completely different person, _Emily thinks.

Micah looks at Dr. Bandari as she begins to wash her hands. "You must have had a great time on your vacation."

Dr. Bandari flushes, and replies, "I'm simply happy to be back at work, doing what I love. It did inspire me to improve my work-life balance, though. Speaking of which, Micah, am I remembering correctly that you play at the club on Stout on second Thursdays?" _Play? What does he play_, Emily wonders.

Micah answers as he is halfway into the operating room. "Yeah, we're playing tonight. Should be fun. You should come." His voice cools noticeably as he says, "Dr. Owens, after you," and follows Emily through the door.

* * *

Will and Amy are standing outside the doorway to Jules' hospital room. Jules is still sleeping after her procedure.

Amy asks Will, "So she's going to be OK?"

Will replies, "She's doing very well, actually. The angioplasty was successful, and all her tests are showing that damage to the heart from the heart attack was minimal. She should be able to go home tomorrow."

Amy stares at Will for a few breaths, and says, "Thank you. Your quick intervention probably saved her life. I'm grateful you were there."

Will looks down and blushes. "It's what I do."

"I see that." She sighs and thinks for a few seconds. "What happened with my other mother?"

Will says, "Long QT is really hard to see. Her EKG looked normal, and I didn't see anything that would have made me flagged me to the possibility of her having it. Medicine isn't an exact science. I wish it were, and I wish I had caught it and prescribed another drug. I'm really sorry you lost your mother."

"I'm going to drop the lawsuit," Amy says. "I thought it would make me feel better about her death—give me something to fight for. But a mistake made by someone who obviously cares about his patients and means well? It's not worth ruining your career and taking up my caseload the next few years, when it won't change anything. It can't bring her back."

Will breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank you. One other thing-I don't know which of your mothers you are biologically related to, but you and your siblings should get checked out by a cardiologist. Long QT also has a genetic component, as does Coronary Heart Disease. Either way, you are at an increased risk, and should have a few tests done to make sure your heart is healthy."

"I'll do that. You know, I think my mothers were right about something. We might have really gotten along, if we had met under other circumstances," Amy says with a sad smile.

**Author's Note: If you're enjoying the story, would you please take a moment to write a review? It would mean a lot to me! If you don't like it, please also feel free to write and tell me why. Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6, Emily and the Sense of Shame

Emily walks past Will and Amy speaking quietly to one another on her way to the roof. Her annoyance shows briefly on her face, as she spitefully thinks Will is trying to edge Dr. Putnam out as the hospital dog. She giggles, then reminds herself that she's going to have to work with Will for the next five years, so will eventually need to find a way to be friends again. But for now, all she wants is a few minutes alone on the roof with the Ring Dings she just got from the vending machines.

She opens the door to the roof and comes face to face with Micah, who is pacing back and forth. "Oh, sorry," she says, and turns to leave.

"No, don't," Micah says. She hesitates, unsure what to hope for. "I was just about to leave," he says.

Her heart plummets, but she keeps her face impassive as she says, "OK," and walks towards the edge of the roof.

He watches her walk past him, hurt and indecision in his eyes. Then he takes a deep breath and is about to open the door when AJ comes through it. "I've been looking for you, dude. What are you doing hiding up here," AJ asks. Then he scans the roof and sees Emily. "Oh, don't let me interrupt."

"Nothing to interrupt," Micah says with a frown. He motions AJ to the opposite side of the roof, out of Emily's earshot. "It's over." He starts pacing again.

"Over?" AJ sees how upset his friend is, then looks over to see Emily mindlessly stuff another Ring Ding in her mouth. "How can it be over? I just thought of your cute couple nickname! No, I don't think so, dude. I don't know what happened, but it's obviously not over between you."

"She had sex with Will Collins," Micah said, trying unsuccessfully to keep the pain out of his voice. "I can't be with someone I don't trust."

AJ watches Emily for a moment. "If she's with Will, why does she look so upset about you?" Micah looks down at the floor. "She dumped him after one night, right?" Micah shrugs. "You said it a few days ago; she needed to flush Will out of her system. She's a romantic, and they find it hard to let go of their dreams. After pining for the guy for years, when he finally offers, she needs to see if he's her 'Happily Ever After.' I've been that guy before. Amazing sex, then afterwards she hates you and moves on to the right guy. It's great," AJ smirks.

"That is not helping!" Micah says.

AJ gently says, "You weren't exclusive. You talked about going on a date, but hadn't even planned it yet. I know you. You really like her, so in your mind, you were probably already halfway to marriage. Micah, don't rush things with this girl. I think you guys might be really good for each other, but take it one step at a time. We've had many conversations about how screwed up most surgeons are about relationships and how high our divorce rate is, even in the residency program. You're the most normal surgeon I know, so I'm counting on you to be the exception to all that."

"I'll think about it," Micah says grumpily. "What about you? I don't see you trying to have a normal relationship."

"I'm not sure I'm even capable of a normal relationship anymore. But that's fine for now, because what I need to focus on is rebuilding my career," says AJ.

"Smart," says Micah. He gives a questioning look to his friend. "And on a completely unrelated note, Bandari sure seems happy today. She and her husband must have had a great vacation together."

AJ's face remains impassive. "Didn't notice. Completely focused on my career."

"Good," Micah says. Then he raises an eyebrow at AJ. "Cute couple nickname?"

"I was leaning towards M & Em, because you would be so sweet together," AJ teases him. Micah laughs, in spite of himself.

Tyra runs through the door from the stairwell, looking frazzled. Her scrubs are wrinkled, stained in places, and rather pungent. She sees Emily immediately, standing on the corner of the rooftop finishing off the last doughnut. She shrieks, "I don't care how awkward you felt after your embarrassing non-sex with the wrong guy, there's no way you are having a worse day than me! Lucky Emily gets two surgeries, and all I get is to assist a severely constipated teen empty her bowels! Manually!" She was about to continue, when she was interrupted by whoops of laughter from Micah and AJ. She looks behind her, seeing them for the first time. Her expression turns from anger to surprise to embarrassment. Emily glares at her.

Micah, suddenly in a much better mood, takes pity on her. "Dr. Dupre, I understand you were disappointed in an appendectomy. As it happens, I'm looking for an assistant for one I have scheduled in twenty minutes. That should give you just enough time to shower and change your clothes first." He and AJ laugh as they walk through the door. Tyra looks back at Emily and mouths, "Sorry" before following them.

* * *

Emily goes downstairs to do the post-op check on the twins. She was already on her way when she received an urgent page directing her to Alpha's room in the SICU. She rushes around the corner only to be stopped short by the sight of twin brothers, the patients' husbands, engaged in a fist fight in the middle of the corridor. Nurses and orderlies rush past Emily as one brother punches the other in the jaw, yelling out, "You put her life in danger! Stopping to pick up Leanne put my Loretta in danger! If she doesn't pull out of this I will never speak to any of you again!" The nurses separate the men and hold them apart from one another. Emily speaks sharply to them. "If you don't stop immediately, I will have security escort you both out of the building. This won't help your wives. Now, go to your wife's room and sit quietly until I can speak with you!" The men slink off into rooms across the hall from one another.

Emily walks into Alpha's room, and sees the man who threw the punch. "So, this is Loretta, then?" she asks him. He nods. She picks up the patient's file and looked at the most recent lab results. "Her temperature and white counts are up, so it looks like she has an infection."

The man nods, clearly worried. "That's what the nurse said. That's why they paged you."

Nurse Sunny walks in and apologizes for being distracted by the argument. "Her fever just spiked, and she still hasn't woken up," she tells Emily.

"Give her the nasal mupirocin now, and start the vancomycin drip before the rest of the antibiotic cocktail. Keep her under close observation. I need to be paged immediately if anything changes," Emily says authoritatively. Sunny says, "Yes, doctor," and immediately begins administering the medication.

Emily speaks reassuringly to the husband. "Mr. Cooper, the antibiotics I've just ordered should help with the infection. What we are hoping for is to see her wake up within the next hour or two. We can't know if the delay caused the infection; there are so many possible sources that we just can't be sure. But we will fight it, and I have confidence that your wife will recover completely. I'm going to check on your sister-in-law now, but will come back immediately if anything changes." He thanks her, and pulls his chair up to watch his wife closely.

Emily walks into the room across the hall, where she finds Leanne blinking her eyes. Emily checks her pulse and inspects the incision site before looking at her lab results. "Leanne, your lab results look great so far, and your incision isn't swelling or showing signs of infection. The nurse will start you on the antibiotic drip soon. If you do feel any pain or swelling, please let us know immediately."

Leanne weakly tries to speak, but can only manage to whisper her sister's name.

Her husband answers as he squeezes her hand. "She's still not awake yet, and she has an infection." Leanne looks upset, and points insistently at the doorway. "Honey, the doctors are taking good care of her, and Bob really doesn't want me over there right now." He rubs his jaw, which is beginning to swell.

Leanne struggles to sit upright. Emily says, "No! You can't get up. You might tear something. You need to lie down!" Leanne reacts by attempting to rip out her IV port. "Mrs. Cooper, there's nothing you can do to help your sister right now. Focus on your own recovery first," Emily advises.

Leanne lies down again, but her face shows her anxiety, and her eyes begin to look wild. Her heart monitor begins to beep more rapidly.

Emily thinks for a minute, then walks over to the bedside phone and calls for an orderly. She instructs the orderly to move the bed, and she helps the nurse carry over the IV pole and heart monitor. When Leanne sees where they are going, she relaxes and her heart rate begins to slow.

Emily arranges for the two beds to be placed next to one another, close enough that Leanne is able to stretch her hand and touch the tips of Loretta's fingers. Loretta's husband looks furious, but as just as he is about to say something, Loretta moves her fingers and clasps her sister's hand. The brothers make eye contact over their wives' hospital beds, and Bob says as an apology, "I should have known better than to keep them apart. Even surgery they have to do together."

When Dr. Bandari comes to check on the patients later, she shakes her head ruefully as she sees them in the same room, both awake, still holding hands. "You're both doing great," she tells them. "Leanne, the hospital social worker was able to enroll you in Medicaid, so you will be able to have your own medical records now. So no more sharing medicine! I expect to see you separately, for your own follow up appointments. You're enrolled in my study now, so don't you dare mess with my data." The sisters looked properly chastised, but smiled back at Dr. Bandari. "We promise, Doctor!" they chorus.

* * *

Gina Bandari hesitates before turning the key. Then she takes a deep breath and opens the door. Everything is exactly the same as it was when she left the house this morning. She drops the smile she has kept plastered on her face all day, and sighs heavily. She looks with distaste at the still-packed suitcase sitting by the side of the bed. She drags it into the recently emptied half of the closet, and slams the closet door. "Might as well make use of all this empty space." She opens the other side of the closet and searches through her clothes to find an outfit suitable for the club. "Sure, my husband left me, I just spent a week as the only single person in a romantic couples-only resort, and I've started talking to myself, but at least I'll finally have enough closet space. See, there's always a silver lining, Gina," she says bitterly.

* * *

Emily, dressed and made-up to Tyra's specifications, walks down Stout St. looking for the club. Her phone chimes, and she pulls it out to see yet another text message from Will. She sighs in frustration, and sets the phone to silent mode and drops it in her pocket. She sees a familiar face coming out of the doorway up ahead.

"AJ!" she calls out, and hurries over to him. "Did I miss it? Is it already over?" She sounds disappointed.

AJ shakes his head. "No, it's intermission. I'm just taking off before the audience-participation part begins." Emily looks confused. "Oh, you'll understand soon enough. I'm actually surprised Micah invited you. He usually waits a while before bringing the woman he's dating to one of his shows."

Emily starts to feel uncertain about being there. She stutters, "Uh, he didn't invite…we're not exactly dat…I heard him talking about it with someone else."

AJ smiled at her knowingly. "Better go in. They're going to start soon."

Emily heads straight for the bar, thinking she might really need a beer. While she waits for the bartender to come, she scans the club, seeing that while it's on the small side, almost all the tables are full. She recognizes Dr. Bandari sitting alone at a table, sending a text message. Emily's inner debate about whether to go over to say hello is interrupted by the bartender wanting to take her order. Drink in hand, Emily heads for an open table in the back. She sees Dr. Bandari read a text message, gather her coat and purse, and stand up to leave. They smile in acknowledgment at each other as they pass, and Emily waggles her fingers hello. Emily blushes, and is so preoccupied with feeling embarrassed at her awkwardness that she doesn't register the sadness in Gina's eyes.

The lights dim, and Emily sees Micah sitting behind a piano on stage. Micah speaks into the microphone, warmly welcoming the audience to the sing along portion of Broadway Night. He plays a few upbeat notes, and is joined by a woman singing "Popular," from _Wicked_. The singer has the audience laughing and singing along in no time, but Emily barely notices. She is transfixed by Micah, who plays piano with the same confidence he performs surgery. He banters with the audience between numbers, joking that if they don't sing loudly enough on the chorus, he might be forced to break out an ABBA song.

_I've never seen this side of Micah before. He's really talented and funny. Sexy, too. Oh, his hands. _Emily remembers the tender way he stroked her face after she told him she had tried not to think of him that way. _Now I can't stop my mind from going there. I wish I had kissed him in the records room. _

Emily is jolted out of her fantasies of more "not just talking" with Micah when he announces the last song. The audience laughs as they realize that the song is "Take a Chance on Me," and Micah assures them that, though ABBA, it does count as a Broadway song after the success of _Mamma Mia_. Even Emily finds herself singing along to the catchy tune.

Several patrons call out to Micah as he walks off the stage after his set. He waves and smiles, then stops as he finally catches sight of Emily rising from her seat at the darkest table in the back of the room.

"Micah! That was…," she starts to gush, before he interrupts her.

"Is what Tyra said true?" Emily looks confused. "I made her explain what she meant by 'embarrassing non-sex with the wrong guy' in surgery this afternoon. You didn't have sex?" Micah asks, searching her eyes for the answer. Emily nods. Micah continues, "I'm so confused. I've been trying to make sense out of it all day. I keep picturing you with him, and it just kills me. What Tyra said helps with the jealousy, a little. It's still there, though, with hurt and anger. Then I think about the fact that you told me what happened, when you could have kept it a secret. That's unusual."

"I never even considered keeping it from you. What I've seen in my mom's dysfunctional relationships is that the lie to cover something you're ashamed of always grows to become worse than the thing itself. If I didn't tell you, I would always be scared that everything we had would be ruined if the truth came out. I didn't want to sabotage our relationship before it began, which I realize I have done anyway. I really like you, Micah. If you can forgive me, I would really like to date you." Without realizing it, they had been inching closer to each other as Emily spoke.

Micah edges closer, and for a moment Emily thinks he might be leaning in for a kiss. She holds her breath, hoping. But he shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair, thinking. He says, "The thing I keep coming back to is that this…night with Will right after all our conversations that day seems out of character for you, so I wonder if I know you as well as I thought I did. Emily, I'm not sure I can trust you, and trust is everything to me."

Emily fights back tears, too overcome by her dashed hopes to speak. She nods to show him she understands his decision. He is surprised by how much emotion she is showing. "Hey," he says softly, wrapping his arms around her. "Em, It's not a forever 'no,' it's an I-need-time-to-think-about-it 'no.'" They hug for a moment, and then break away.

Emily wipes the tears out of her eyes, and tries to pull herself back together. "OK," she says. "Thinking is good. Take the time you need. But we can stay friends, right?" she asks nervously. He nods yes, and they smile at each other. They start to walk towards the door. "Micah, I have to say, you are full of surprises. Your show tonight was…"

He cuts her off: "Yeah, I know it's not classical music, but…"

Now she interrupts him. "Why would it need to be classical? You were amazing up there—I had no idea you were such an accomplished musician and performer."

"You really liked it?" he asked incredulously.

"Of course," she replied.

"I don't usually take women I'm interested in here. They tend to react by…"

"By throwing themselves at you?" Emily asks, still struggling not to do that exact thing.

He gives her a questioning look. "By slowly backing away, usually. It takes me right back to my high school days as a Drama Club geek. Throwing themselves at me?" He laughs.

"Maybe you just needed to find an Orchestra geek to appreciate you. You playing on that stage was one of the sexiest things I've ever seen." She walks through the door.

Micah blushes. He stays still for a moment out of shock, and then follows her out the door.

_No one lives life perfectly, so shame and guilt arise as a normal part of living. But if you let them control you and convince you to hide yourself away from the truth, you're not really fully alive anymore. I may not get what I want, who I want, but I won't let my mistakes keep me from trying. No more letting life pass me by while I wait for love. I see my chance, and I'm going to take it._

**_Thanks for reading! This is the end of my version of Episode 14. Please comment-it really encourages me! Let me know if you're interested in another episode. Thanks!_**


	7. Episode 15, Emily and the Glue, Pt 1

Episode 15,

Emily and the Glue

_When things fall apart, what holds you together? _

Micah wakes Emily with a quick caress. Her eyes open and immediately lock onto his. He puts his finger to his lips to warn her not to make a sound. He takes her hand to help her stand up from the bed, and continues to hold it as they sneak out of the call room without waking the other interns.

The lights in the hallway have been dimmed, and Emily hears romantic piano music drifting from a room down the hall. Micah quietly closes the door to the call room behind them, and then pivots around to where Emily stands with her back to the wall. He leans in close to whisper in her ear, and she can barely hear him through the pounding of her heart. "It's a medical emergency, Dr. Owens. I'm going to die if I don't kiss you again."

She smiles coyly at him. "Are you asking me to get overly involved with a patient?" she teases. "Oh, yeah," he says as he pulls her close. He kisses her, tentatively at first, then more passionately as she wraps her hands around his head and pulls him closer.

"Come with me," he whispers. "I know the perfect place." They continue to kiss as they stumble together towards the room with the music. They leave a trail of clothes and belongings littering the hallway floor behind them: white coats, stethoscope, clogs, a scrub shirt. Panting heavily, Micah opens the door to the records room. The music swells, and lights flicker within, suggesting candlelight. Micah places her hand on his heart and purrs seductively in her ear, "Shortness of breath and increased heart rate. What do you suggest we do about that, Doctor? Maybe you should do a more thorough examination." He tries to bring her into the room with him.

Emily pulls him into a tight embrace, hoping to keep him in the hallway. "Stay here with me, Micah. Please, just a little longer," she begs. She kisses him deeply, trying to hold on to him, but slowly he pulls away and is gone. She hears his voice from inside the records room: "Come inside, Emily. I'm right here." She feels something land at her feet. She looks—it's the rest of his clothes. She desperately wrenches open the door, only to find a brick wall where the entrance should be. "Micah? Micah! Why does it always end this way?" she yells, beating at the brick wall with her fists, before she feels someone shaking her shoulder.

_Oh not the dream again! You don't have to beat me over the head with it, subconscious! Or is this real? _"Micah?" she asks, seeing a man kneeling next to her in the dark call room, trying to wake her up. AJ laughs quietly. "No," he says, "just me. You're being paged." He holds up her pager, which is beeping loudly. He looks at the screen. "Code blue in 503."

She takes back the pager and stands up quickly. "That's Ms. Ray. I better hurry."

AJ says, "I'll come too." They both rush out the door.

As they run down the stairs to the patient's room, AJ asks, "How many times have you been on call this week? You look tired, even for an intern."

She can barely remember yesterday, much less through the last week. "Once, I think. No, this is the second. But there's been a lot of work for Bandari's research project, so I've been here late pretty much every night." They reach 503, and see a nurse administering CPA and another who hangs up the phone as soon as she sees them. The second nurse says, "We just started CPR. Her heart stopped about a minute ago."

Dr. Aquino takes charge. "Start the epinephrine, 1 mg. every 3 minutes," he says to the second nurse. "EKG," he tells Emily as he runs over to help with CPR. He grabs the AMBU bag to give the patient some air.

Emily hooks up the EKG, and watches anxiously as the results start to appear. "It's PEA," she tells Dr. Aquino. "What's the differential?" he quizzes her.

"H's and T's," she says, going through them in her mind. "I'm seeing a deviating trachea and some cyanosis, so likely Tension Pneumothorax."

"Very good," he says. "Prep for the needle decompression. Oh, you're one step ahead of me. Go ahead, then." He steps aside and watches as she sticks the needle into the patient's lung. A rush of air is expelled from the lungs. The doctors and nurses relax, and the sound of the heart beating is heard on the monitor once again. "Good job," AJ says to Emily. "That should hold for a while, while we get the X-ray."

* * *

Tyra dims the lights and chooses her favorite playlist. She dances around a little as she lights a candle. She checks her hair and makeup as she passes the mirror, but she knows she looks good. A predatory smile graces her face as she pours two glasses of red wine. She takes both wineglasses with her as she walks into Emily's bedroom. Liz Barnes is standing near the dresser, holding a framed picture of Emily and her mother. Liz looks up, flirtatiously holding eye contact with Tyra as she asks, "Are you adopted or something?"

Tyra stands very close as she gives Liz the wineglass. She takes the frame and places it back on the dresser, still maintaining eye contact. "Family friends," she says. "So, Elizabeth, tell me more about yourself. I don't even know why you were in the hospital the day we met."

Liz smiles mysteriously. "Family friends," she echoes, and takes a sip of wine. She traces her fingertip along Tyra's hand, and leans in close to Tyra's ear. "You haven't lived here long, have you?"

Tyra laughs softly. "You caught me. I'm staying with a friend while I look for a place of my own. She's working a long shift tonight, so we have the place to ourselves." She reaches past Liz to put her wine glass on the dresser, their bodies pressing against each other as she does so. "Oh, pardon my reach," she says while gazing into Liz's eyes.

"No need to apologize," says Liz as she leans in to give Tyra a quick kiss. "I'm glad we won't be disturbed tonight." She turns and walks a few feet closer to the bed, bringing Tyra along by the hand. Tyra grins, and coyly unbuttons the top button on her blouse. Liz quickly walks back to the dresser to put her wine glass near Tyra's, and stealthily drops a red necklace into her pocket from the ornate bowl filled with jewelry. She wraps her arms around Tyra from the back and playfully kisses her neck. Tyra arches her back, completely oblivious to the calculating look and self-satisfied smile on Liz's face. Tyra turns around and pulls Liz to her. They kiss passionately and move closer to the bed.

* * *

Will pulls into the parking lot as the sun's first rays start to lighten the sky. He pulls his gym bag out of the trunk and walks into the Colorado Hitting Club. He slides a ten to the attendant as he says, "Good morning, Matt." Matt replies, "Morning, dude. I saved tunnel 1 for you." Will waves his thanks, and goes in.

Will takes his bat and a helmet out of the gym bag. He takes a few practice swings, then pushes the button to start the balls. At the end of the half hour he is sweating, but has pushed the frustration and loneliness far enough away that he can think again. Now he can go to work with a clear mind.

* * *

"We're walking," Gina Bandari says brusquely as she passes the interns, enjoying the way they still scramble to catch up with her. Emily lengthens her stride to walk faster. "Dr. Barnes isn't scheduled to return until tomorrow, so run everything through Dr. Park, the acting chief resident, today. Dr. Park?" Dr. Bandari looks around for the fourth year resident, the faculty's current favorite for next year's chief resident.

AJ steps forward. "She's not feeling well. She asked me to take over for her today," he says, his eyes daring Gina to assign someone else in his place.

A smattering of hushed laughter greets AJ's words. "No big surprise after yesterday," one of the interns mumbles. Pressing her lips together tightly is the only sign Dr. Bandari gives that she is aware of Dr. Park's disastrous performance in the role over the past few days.

Dr. Bandari eyes AJ critically, then exhales sharply. "Fine. Dr. Aquino is acting chief resident today. Run everything through him today." They enter the first patient's room. "Dr. Owens, present."

Emily steps forward. "Patient is Nina Ray, 34, history of asthma, admitted for exertional dyspnea and loss of consciousness. She coded last night, experiencing PEA due to tension pneumothorax. Patient is currently stable. We placed a chest tube, and are awaiting her X-ray results."

"Dr. Kopelson, work with Dr. Owens on this case. Dr. Aquino, please monitor the situation closely. Moving on," Dr. Bandari says as she leaves the room.

* * *

Will jogs down the stairs, hoping that the short exercise will ease his frustration at being relegated to the Emergency Department yet again. The lawyers have assured him that the investigation into the death of his patient has been dropped, but Dr. Bandari is not so forgiving. He can't even remember the last time he saw the inside of an OR.

He sees Dr. Albagetti, who says "Just make it official, Dr. Collins. Switch to emergency medicine! You're here all the time anyway. Bay 2 for you—loss of consciousness and head trauma."

Will hears the argument between the patient and the nurse as he opens the curtain to Bay 2. The elderly man with blood running down the side of his face from an abrasion on his temple keeps telling the nurse to leave him alone. The nurse is trying to suture the wound, and tries to reassure the patient that it won't hurt. Will talks to the patient, trying to distract him while the nurse finishes the suturing. "Sir, she will be done in just a minute. Why don't you tell me what happened?"

The patient bats distractedly at the nurse a few more times before answering Will. "I don't want any treatment. I just want to be allowed to return home."

Will calmly assures him that "After the nurse takes care of your head wound, we will need to run a few tests. If everything checks out, you should be able to return home in a few hours."

The patient is adamant. "No tests, no medicine, no treatment! I refuse any and all treatment, even for this cut."

The nurse steps in at this point, saying "It's a moot point now. The cut has been sutured. I'll leave you to it," she says to Will as she steps out and hands Will the patient's file.

"Can you tell me what happened to your head?" Will asks.

"I fainted and hit my head on the sidewalk. Some busybody called an ambulance, and here I am. Can I leave now?" the surly patient replies.

"Let's try to figure out why you fainted first, Mr. …uh," Will says as he hurriedly looks at the file. "Mr. Solingsen. Nils Solingsen, the Nobel Prize-winning physicist?" The patient nods, surprised to be recognized. Will sounds excited. "No way! I'm such a fan. I wrote a report about your project on electron spectroscopy in the fifth grade, and have followed your work since then. It's such an honor to meet you."

Mr. Solingsen humbly and calmly says, "Thank you. That is gratifying to hear. Not many people are familiar with my work. Dr. Collins, I have already taken every medical test you could care to give me. I know why I fainted, and I would like to refuse treatment and return home."

"You know why you fainted?' Will asks.

"I assume it has something to do with the tumor in my brain. Or perhaps it is the heart disease, or even the cirrhosis. Whichever combination caused it, I categorically refuse treatment," Mr. Solingsen emphasizes again.

Will pages through the chart. Mr. Solingsen is correct. His chart shows extensive lab and test results from several months ago, with diagnoses of a malignant brain tumor, heart disease, and cirrhosis of the liver. "Have you been receiving treatment from another hospital? Things might have progressed since this scan was taken, but the tumor looks eminently operable. Not to mention that the heart disease and cirrhosis may be alleviated by medication."

Mr. Solingsen sighs. "I have no interest in extending my life just to spend all the rest of it in the hospital. I'm already dying. Please just let me die in peace in my own home."

Will understands; he would probably feel the same way, in that situation. "Of course, you can check out AMA, against medical advice. I can get those forms for you, and will also bring in a nurse to witness you signing them. Do you have a friend or family member who can pick you up?"

"No. I'm all alone," the patient replies. He struggles to sit up, but is unable to do more than lift his head.

"But you can't sit up, so you certainly can't walk. How can you return home? I'm afraid that in your current situation, you physically won't be able to leave the hospital, even AMA." Will feels bad for this man he has idolized for so long. How can there be no one he can call for help? "However, if the issue is mostly that you do not want your life prolonged, have you written a living will or a DNR form? I don't see anything like that in your file."

Tears begin to fall from Mr. Solingsen's eyes. "Please, I will sign anything as long as it will keep people from sticking needles in me or doing any more tests."

Will feels strangely moved. Nils Solingsen has been one of his heroes ever since he wrote that 5th grade report. Studying the physicist's work inspired his choice of college major. He goes to get the DNR forms and nurses to serve as witnesses. Will swears to himself that his hero's wishes will be honored, even if he has to stand guard himself.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I really appreciate all the reviews and comments-they encourage me to keep going. I want to publish this now-it's probably about a quarter of the episode-because otherwise I will just keep starting over with a slightly different take. :)**


	8. Episode 15, Emily and the Glue, Pt 2

Emily, Cassandra, and AJ meet in room 503, gathered around the sleeping patient Nina Ray. "She's still stable, but her pO2 levels are pretty low. What could be taking so long on the X-Rays, though?" says Emily.

"When you find them, page me," says Cassandra on her way out the door. _That figures_, thinks Emily. _Let others do the scutwork so you can swoop in with a diagnosis once someone else has gathered all the data._

"So, Dr. Aquino, what did you use to bribe the radiologists?" Emily asks.

"Bribery?" AJ asks, sounding slightly disapproving.

"It's the best way to get quick results around here. Think of it as a worthy addition to your medical toolbox. The radiology guys like red licorice or jelly beans. I think I saw some Red Vines in the gift shop the other day."

AJ smiles. "It can't hurt to try. I'll even spring for the Red Vines." He starts to walk out of the room. "Come on, Dr. Owens. We're walking."

She laughs, but hurries to catch up with him. "Wow, one taste of power and you think you're Dr. Bandari," she grumbles jokingly.

He pushes the down button on the elevator. "Going from most hated resident to her second in command so quickly must have gone to my head. Altitude sickness, if you will. My apologies," AJ says with mock seriousness. "I'll limit my ambition to making sure the place is still standing when Micah comes back."

"That in itself would be an accomplishment. About half the interns threatened to quit yesterday when Dr. Park was on her rampage. Who knew Micah had to work so hard just to keep this place together?" Emily stops as she sees AJ raise his eyebrows at her. "OK, obviously it's an impossible job, but he makes it look easy. Do you think they'll offer you the position for next year, now that Dr. Park is out of the running? Would you even take it, considering that you and Dr. Bandari are like sodium and water?"

"You mean that something always explodes when we are in the same vicinity? Can you imagine the poor interns getting caught in the crossfire?"

"Yes, actually, I can! Though I have to say that Sunny was right, things have gotten better for me since you're here to take the brunt of her hatred. So maybe it would work if you thought of yourself as a lightning rod, protecting the interns by drawing most of the lightning strikes upon yourself," Emily jokes. AJ laughs loudly enough that he draws some stares as they walk down the hall and push the elevator button.

"You know," Emily says sincerely as they enter the elevator. "My theory is that she doesn't actually hate either of us. I've seen you in surgery—you're really good. I like to think I'm not bad, either. Maybe she is hard on us because she can see we are tough enough to take it and good enough to bother with. If you notice, she mostly just ignores the interns in the middle of the pack. I think her hostility is somehow intended to make us better surgeons. That's what I like to tell myself, anyway. Plus, it helps that I've seen evidence that she does have a really good heart deep down, protected by all those spiky and intimidating defenses."

"You do look on the bright side," AJ says. "That's more flattering than any of the ways I've come up with to explain it."

They exit the elevator and walk over to the gift shop, where AJ buys the licorice and hands it to Emily. "This bribery thing better work," he says.

"Sorry, Dr. Aquino," the radiologist says sheepishly as they walk through the door to Radiology. "We've been running back to back scans since early this morning, so I've just started interpreting the results." Emily slides the package of licorice across the counter at him, winking as she does so. The radiologist laughs and says, "I guess you guys just moved up to the head of the line. One minute." He types something into the computer, and their patient's X-Ray shows up on the screen. They all stare at it for a moment as the radiologist munches on a piece of licorice.

"Patient has a chest tube and shows signs of a recent pneumothorax. Both lungs show a medium to coarse reticular interstitial pattern," the radiologist rattles off.

Emily and AJ look at each other, running through the differential diagnoses in their heads. "Emphysema, sarcoidosis, LCH?" Emily suggests.

"She's the wrong age for LCH. The spirometric results from yesterday combined with the reticular interstitial pattern are consistent with both emphysema and sarcoidosis. Let's see how she responds to inhaled corticosteroids today," AJ counsels.

They thank the radiologist, who is typing the results he just told them into the medical records. He nods at them and thanks them again for the licorice.

"Score one for bribery. I will certainly be adding it to my medical toolbox. How did you know to try it?" AJ asks.

"Dr. Barnes, of course. He told me the lab techs required Swiss Rolls for quick results. Since then I've tried to notice whenever I see a technician or nurse snacking, to add their preferences to my list," Emily says smugly.

"Wow," AJ marvels at her dedication. "Though I'm a little peeved at Micah for sharing that useful information with the girl he likes but not his friend. I thought we had moved beyond high school!"

"It wasn't like that," Emily protested. "He told me about the bribery thing long before he was interested in me."

"Right," he laughs. "Sure it was. Pardon me if I don't believe you. I saw with my own eyes how clueless you were about his very obvious interest in you. I seriously doubt there was much of a time before he was interested in you. For such an observant person, you have a huge blind spot when it comes to men."

Emily tries to figure out how to react to that, but before she does, his pager goes off. "Oh, duty calls. Be sure to take Kopelson with you when you talk to Ms. Ray," he says on his way down the hall.

* * *

Will is standing next to Mr. Solingsen's bed, with one nurse seated next to him with a clipboard, scribbling furiously on a form, and another standing at the patient's feet, listening intently. The first nurse says, "One more question, Mr. Solingsen. What are your wishes concerning IV fluids and/or feeding tubes?"

The patient groans. "I do not want anything given to me intravenously or through a tube, neither to deliver fluids, nutrition, nor medication."

The nurse smiles at him. "OK, hon. Just a moment, then you can sign it." She writes quickly, then repeats to him the words he spoke. When he nods, she signs her name at the bottom of the page and proffers the clipboard. "Sign here," she says, pointing. "Then here, and initial every page." Mr. Solingsen does so. She holds the clipboard out to the other nurse. "You're the witness. Sign here, here, and initial here." Then she turns to Will, and has him sign a few places on the form. She turns back to the patient, and tells him, "All done, sweetheart. I'll input it into the hospital system now, and will put a copy in your file and take one to Hospital Records.

"Thank you so much, Nurses," Mr. Solingsen says, and waves to them as they leave.

Will asks, "Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable, sir?"

"Call me Nils, please. If you don't have any place you need to be, could you just sit with me for a while?"

"Of course," Will says. "It would be an honor."

"I'm curious, Dr. Collins, why you felt it necessary to have two witnesses for a form you could have signed yourself."

"I'm being extra careful these days, and didn't want any doubts about your frame of mind."

"Is a patient suing you for making a mistake?" Nils asks.

"No, but it was a possibility for a while there. Actually, I got into more trouble for apologizing for the mistake than I did for making it in the first place. How messed up is that?" Will blurts out.

"I assure you, I have no one who will care enough to sue. I thought surgeons were similar to physicists in their arrogance. Why did you apologize?" Nils asks.

Cassandra walks through the Emergency Department, and stops at the nurses' station to pick up her patient's chart. She hears Will's voice, and hesitates, staring at the chart while trying to overhear part of the conversation.

"I was trying to be a better person. My girlfriend had just broken up with me because she thought I had feelings for my best friend, Emily. Then Emily, who revealed to me earlier this year that she had been in love with me throughout medical school, told me she was beginning a relationship with another guy. It threw me into a complete panic. My girlfriend told me about the mistake, and told me that no one else would ever need to know, but all I could think about was trying to be the good man that Emily always thought I was. You know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't burden you with any of this," Will says. By this point, Cassandra has moved into the empty Bay 1 with her chart, in an attempt to hear more clearly.

Nils snorts, unused to laughing. "I'm a lonely old man waiting to die. I'm sick of my own thoughts. You're doing me a favor by talking to me. What happened with Emily?"

Will rolls his eyes in frustration at himself, "Probably just what you expect. I told her I was developing feelings for her, and showed up at her door drunk late that night. It started out amazing, so amazing it made me regret the fact I wasted medical school chasing after every other girl. But then everything just fizzled out completely. She asked me to leave, and hasn't spoken to me since. I feel like I've lost everything important to me—my best friend won't talk to me, my career has stalled, I think I may have missed out on my one chance for true love, but I also miss Cassandra and our relationship so much, and I'm so damn lonely all the time. My whole life has fallen apart."

Cassandra's pager goes off, startling her. Will pulls his pager out of his pocket to check if the call is for him. Cassandra quietly walks out of the curtained area, her brow furrowed and her mind working overtime.

"Loneliness is the worst," states Nils flatly.

"Yeah, I know," Will agrees.

"No, really, out of all your problems, that one is the worst. If you solve that, the others will likely take care of themselves. What happened to your other friends? Or were they all really Emily's friends?" Nils asks.

"How did you know that? You're right. For someone that we all tease for being socially awkward, she's the one that binds us together. Or did." Will sighs.

"Can I give you some advice?" Nils asks.

"Yeah, of course."

"You have to figure out what holds you together. Right now you're like a free electron, drifting where ever the current takes you. Now, that has many practical uses in the world, but this is your life. You have to do more than simply react to whatever outside forces act upon you, conducting drama instead of electricity. Stop concerning yourself with what others want you to be, and figure out who you are. Then you will attract or repel based upon your own qualities. If Emily is the glue that holds your social group together, let her connect you back to a community. But stop trying to make her into the glue that holds you together as a person."

* * *

Emily and Cassandra walk into Nina Ray's room, waking her up. She looks bewildered for a few seconds, trying to place them. "Weren't you wearing different colored scrubs before, doctors?" she asks quietly, not able to speak very loudly.

Emily and Cassandra look at each other briefly before shaking their heads. "Maybe you have us confused with some of the nurses," Emily suggests. "They wear maroon scrubs."

Nina shakes her head. She whispers, "No, I thought they were purple. Anyway, it doesn't matter."

Cassandra says, "Your X-Ray results are in, and the scarring on your lungs is more serious than I would expect for someone with asthma. I'm going to start you on corticosteroids today, through an inhaler, and I'll schedule some tests on your liver and your eyes, to rule out sarcoidosis. It could also be emphysema, but the corticosteroids will help with either condition in the meantime."

Emily smiles at the patient, trying to hide her anger at Cassandra's nerve. _Why am I still surprised that she takes credit for other people's work? _

Nina looks confused. "How could I have emphysema? I've never even smoked a cigarette."

"Never? Well, it can also occur in people who have been exposed to secondhand smoke or certain toxic chemicals. In rare cases it can be caused by the lack of alpha-1 antitrypsin in the body," explains Cassandra. "When a diagnosis is confirmed, I'm sure my associate will be happy to discuss with you the possible source of the disease and your after-care options." She flashes her most saccharine smile at Emily.

They walk out to the nurses' station, where Cassandra gives the patient's file to Emily, saying "Here. I know you're off soon, so why don't you schedule those tests before you go. Thanks!" She then walks off, leaving Emily standing there.

* * *

She only has a few hours to go before she can finally go home and climb into bed, but Emily doesn't think she can make it even that long without caffeine. She pulls out her phone as she walks out the side entrance of the hospital and heads for the coffee cart. She is frustrated when she sees that she has no messages from Micah. _You cannot send any more messages to him. It doesn't matter how much you want to know how Joyce is doing, or about his interview. He will be back at work tomorrow; wait until then. But if he works tomorrow, maybe he's already back. _She pushes send on her latest "thinking about you" text, unhappy with how much she overthinks everything relating to Micah these days.

She is so consumed with her thoughts that she almost misses seeing Will walk past her on his way into the hospital. He averts his eyes when he sees her notice him, but not before she can see that it looks like he is upset about something. She fights the ingrained urge to run after him and comfort him, but stares after him for a moment. _What should I do about Will? Not talking to him at all feels so strange. _

She's happy to see AJ at the coffee cart; he's a welcome relief from her thoughts. "Hey there, Chief. Can I buy you a cup of coffee to butter you up?" she jokes.

"Sorry, coffee's not the most effective bribe for me. You're welcome to keep trying, though," he responds in kind.

"Oh, I'll be watching you." Emily laughs. "So, really, how is your day going?"

"Not too bad, actually. The case load is crazy, of course, but I'm actually enjoying the mentorship part of the job. I miss Micah, though," AJ says.

"Me too," admits Emily.

"That is pretty obvious, considering that dream you must have been having about him when I woke you up this morning in the call room," AJ says teasingly, but quiet enough that only Emily can hear. Her face turns bright red immediately.

Emily's voice is stiff as she says, "I don't know what you're talking about, but please don't mention that to anyone ever again!"

"Wow, that struck a nerve!" He turns more serious after he sees the expression on her face. "My lips are sealed. Sorry. I guess I'm a little protective of Micah. He's my only real friend at the hospital."

"I have no intention of hurting him. Not that it matters, if I'm reading his silence correctly. Even with that big blind spot you talked about, I can see that he is losing interest." Putting her hidden doubts into words makes them that much more real to her. Emily sighs.

"Don't give up on him. He's going through a lot right now, so have some patience and keep persevering with him. He's worth it. You know, he was the only person who kept calling me when I left last year. A few other people called or texted once or twice, then gave up. He never did, even though I rarely responded. I'll never forget that."

Emily is touched by his story. "Why did you stay away so long," she starts to say, but is interrupted by the sound of a text message arriving. "It's from Micah!" she says eagerly.

AJ smiles widely. "See, what did I tell you?"

She looks troubled as she reads it. "He says he will be back sometime tomorrow afternoon, because Joyce refuses to continue with the clinical trial. Also, the interview was disastrous. We will talk when he's back. Uh, oh. Now I'm worried about Joyce."

He puts his hand on her shoulder, and gently says, "Emily, I think you missed the important part. He contacted you and says he wants to tell you about his trip when he gets back. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"You're right. Worrying won't do Joyce any good, so I'll choose to be happy instead." She gives him a quick hug. "Thanks. I guess this also means you'll have at least one more day as Chief Resident. I'm expecting great things from you." He smiles as she walks away, and notices Cassandra watching them with a calculating look upon her face. He winks at her across the driveway and walks back into the hospital, muttering to himself, "Trouble. That girl is trouble."

Cassandra stares after him, saying to herself, "So, that's who Emily Owens is interested in dating. Well, let's see what I can do about that!"


	9. Episode 15, Emily and the Glue, Pt 3

Emily arrives at her front door still shivering from keeping the car windows down during her drive to keep herself awake. She mentally rearranges her priorities for the night again, as she has done the whole way home. _OK, shower first to warm me up, then food, then sleep_. She turns the key in the lock.

"Roomie, you're home!" gushes Tyra.

_Oh, I don't know if I have the energy to deal with Tyra tonight_, Emily thinks. She perks up a little as she smells something coming from the kitchen. She ventures a small smile. "Hi Tyra. Something smells good. You must have gone grocery shopping," she says hopefully.

"I wasn't that bored on my day off! But I did make you an omelet with the rest of the eggs because I knew you'd be tired after such a long shift," Tyra says.

Emily closes her eyes and counts to three. _Choose to be grateful that she made you dinner. Don't focus on the fact that she hasn't bought so much as a quart of milk or a roll of toilet paper since she moved in. This is temporary. I will have my space back soon. Breathe. _"Thanks. I'm famished. That was thoughtful of you."

Emily slumps against the kitchen table as Tyra brings a plate over to her. Emily averts her eyes from the towering stack of dishes. She takes a bite of the omelet. It's actually pretty good. "This is good. I didn't know you could cook."

"Oh, it was one of my forms of rebellion. I can't count the number of times I heard my dad claim that 'no serious surgeon would risk his hands by doing any kind of work in the kitchen.' So I get my mom to give me lessons on the sly, and I've cooked for myself for years without incident. A few months ago I felt cocky, having gotten accepted to the surgical program here, so I finally cooked a really nice meal for him. Of course, that's the meal I burned my thumb a little bit cooking, but no big deal. He enjoyed the food, so I said, 'See, Dad, I can be a surgeon and cook, too.' He just looked at me and said, "I said no **serious** surgeon, Tyra.'"

Emily laughs. "That's terrible, Tyra. Though I have to say that I'm kind of with your dad on the cooking thing. I can't even watch any of those cooking shows on tv, because they give me nightmares. Have you ever seen the hands of a professional chef?" She shudders.

Tyra makes a face. "You should hang out with my dad. You're probably serious enough a surgeon for him. So, anyway, enough chit-chat. Guess who got laid last night, and not just 'emotionally laid,' whatever that is?"

"Um, you? I didn't know you and Molly were even talking again," Emily ventures.

"Yes, me! And no, not Molly. No one you know, actually. Just a straight girl looking for a new experience. Though now that I think about it, it might not have been her first trip to the Sapphic side. She was surprisingly skilled." Tyra smiles happily to herself.

_No details, please. I hate hearing about other people's sex lives. _"TMI, Tyra! So, are you going to see her again? What's her name, anyway?" Emily asks.

"The lovely Elizabeth. I don't know if I'll see her again. I texted her today, but I think the number she gave me is wrong," Tyra says.

"Hmm," Emily says, finishing the last bite of her omelet. "If a guy did that, he'd be considered a player." She stands up at takes her plate over to the sink. She opens the dishwasher and starts to fill it with the dirty dishes.

Tyra sits up straight. "Wait, you think I was played?"

"It's certainly a possibility. If the idea bothers you so much, why don't you go back to her place and find her?"

Tyra is distracted. "I can't. She came here."

"What?" Emily explodes. "You brought a stranger to my apartment? God! It's been hard enough having you here, messing up the way I do things and filling the place with chaos. But to bring a stranger here! And to have sex on my couch?" Emily's mild OCD kicks in when she looks at the couch, and she starts to envision all the ways she can clean it.

Tyra's eyes widen. She has never seen Emily so angry. "Actually, it was on your bed," she says in a small voice.

"My bed? Gah!" Emily slams the dishwasher shut, then bangs a cabinet door for good measure. She scrubs the counter tops.

"I'm sorry, Emily. I didn't know you were so particular about your place."

"Everything is so chaotic all the time, and this is the one place I have where everything is in order. I need that. Having that party was hard on me, having a roommate is even harder, but this just feels like such a violation." She starts looking for something else to clean.

"I . . . I didn't realize."

"Of course you didn't. You're far too self-involved!" Emily tries to calm herself; she doesn't want to lose another friend. She starts sweeping the floor. "Look, Tyra. I'm exhausted and furious. I don't want to say things I will regret later. But if you want to stay friends, you have to find someplace else to live. I can't do this much longer."

"OK. I'll start looking, for real this time. And I'll go out for a few hours tonight, to give you some space. Emily, I'm sorry. Please don't give up on me. Our friendship means a lot to me."

Emily pauses in her cleaning long enough to say, "It does to me, too. That's why we can't live together! So, by the end of the week?"

"Yeah, you bet. Get some sleep tonight, OK?" Tyra grabs her coat and scarf and walks out the door.

"Sure thing. Just as soon as I've restored some order around here," Emily mutters to herself as she marches into her bedroom to strip all the linens off her bed. She carries them all arm-length from her body and dumps them into the washer. She adds a generous amount of detergent and makes sure it is on the hottest setting before pushing the button to start. Then she grabs a bucket of cleaning supplies and heads back to her room. She switches on her favorite Yo-Yo Ma album and begins to scrub.

* * *

Tyra saunters into the bar, stopping by a few tables to greet some acquaintances. She pulls up a bar stool next to Cassandra and orders a beer. Cassandra quirks an eyebrow at her and says acidly, "You better not pull me off my game tonight, Tyra."

"Well, hello to you too, Cassandra," Tyra says sweetly. "And what game? There's no one here tonight."

"Isn't that the truth? It has been this way for a while now. It's depressing. I didn't realize that by coupling off so soon into residency that I would be cutting myself off so completely from the social scene. Even the other interns in our year won't do more than say hi to me." Cassandra takes a quick swig of her beer.

"Yeah, that's got to be the reason," Tyra says, trying to hide her eye roll. She waves at a group of people walking past who call out her name. "So, Cassandra, do you know of anyone looking for a roommate?"

"Is Emily finally kicking you out?" Cassandra laughs sardonically. Tyra shrugs her shoulders. "I'm certainly not looking for a roommate. Why don't you just find a studio or one bedroom apartment nearby?"

Tyra makes a face. "I've never lived alone before. It just seems too lonely."

"It's time to grow up, Tyra."

"It's time for people to stop telling me to grow up!" They glare at each other before sighing and settling into similar slouched postures. They both glance up when the door opens again, and Cassandra sits up straighter.

"Things just got a little more interesting," Cassandra says, her eyes fixated on AJ, who is hanging up his coat near the door. "What do you know about Dr. Aquino?"

Tyra looks at Cassandra askance. "AJ? I know what everyone knows; good in the OR, huge flirt, disappeared mysteriously for a year after something happened in the OR, but not before having an epic fight in the halls with Bandari. Why?"

"Maybe I need a little trouble to spice up my life. Tell me about the thing between AJ and Emily." Cassandra shifts her laser focus to Tyra.

Tyra looks blank. "The thing between AJ and Emily?" she repeats.

"Oh, honestly, Tyra. I don't know why you feel such loyalty to the person who is kicking you out. Believe me; I will find out." She smooths back her hair and reapplies her lipstick.

"Cassandra, I kept thinking that you must have hidden depths or something. But you don't, do you? The only thing you have at your center is the need to compete with Emily Owens, to best her in any way you can. That's twisted, and really pathetic." Tyra can't hide the disgust in her voice.

Cassandra rolls her eyes. "You really have me all figured out," she says sarcastically. She plasters a smile on her face and slinks over to where AJ is chatting with the bartender. She places her hand on AJ's back while she leans in closely to place an order with the bartender. AJ turns to face her, and appreciatively runs his eyes up and down her form. Cassandra smiles secretively and says something to make him laugh.

"She certainly doesn't need any flirtation lessons," Tyra says to herself. She makes herself turn away, and goes to chat with another group of friends.

Every few minutes she catches herself staring at them again. It's a strangely compelling sight. She wonders what on earth convinced Cassandra that AJ and Emily might have some sort of thing between them, when she has apparently never noticed the real attraction between Emily and Micah.

About fifteen minutes later she sees AJ receive a text message. He immediately starts looking for the bartender, to settle his bill. He bids an abrupt goodbye to Cassandra, and is out the door in seconds. Tyra can't help laughing at the sour expression on Cassandra's face as she realizes he has gone.

Will hesitantly walks into the bar. The first person he sees is Cassandra, who pulls on her scarf and coat as soon as he says hi. "What is her deal, anyway?" he wonders to himself as she walks out the door. He sees Tyra talking to a group of people he doesn't recognize. She gives a friendly wave, but he doesn't feel up to making small talk with strangers, so he doesn't join her. Suddenly, he can't stand the thought of staying there even a second longer. He feels overwhelmed by loneliness, and resolves to do something about it tomorrow. Until then, perhaps he can help someone else and ease his own loneliness at the same time. He heads back to the hospital to spend some more time talking to his patient Nils.

* * *

Emily checks the progress of the dryer. Her load of linens is about half done, so she thinks she will take the time to clean one more place before she showers and can finally go to sleep. She considers her options, and chooses the small closet right by the front door. She feels a small thrill when she sees how packed with random things it is. _Wow, I really need to revive my social life_, she thinks. _There is no way I should be this excited by the chance to organize! _

She hums softly to herself as she starts by sorting things into piles. Several minutes and a few levels of excavation later she finds a small collection of gift bags she cannot remember seeing before. Curious, she opens one. It contains a bottle of wine and a card with "Happy birthday, Emily! From Nurse Sunny" written on it. _People brought me birthday gifts? That is so sweet! I wonder why I never saw them before now. Oh no! That means the thank you notes are months overdue! _ Emily forces herself not to obsess about what she had no control over, and simply enjoys opening the unexpected gifts. She finds several bottles of wine and a box of chocolates that she immediately samples. The colorful and quirky scarf from Tyra softens her anger and reminds her why they are friends in the first place. She is apprehensive about opening Will and Cassandra's gift, but starts to laugh as she pulls out a slightly dinged pink birthday crown, and envelope, and a nicely wrapped box. She puts the envelope aside, as she knows that is from Will, and opens the box. The scented candle she pulls out is pretty, though not exactly her taste. When she turns it around, she sees that the label is an ornate capital letter C. _Vintage Cassandra. I'm surprised she bothered to change the card on the gift before passing it along! _

She debates opening the envelope from Will, wondering if the reminder of their friendship will prove too painful. She remembers their medical school tradition of exchanging tickets for Christmas. Their rules were that it could be any kind of ticket, but that it had to be something they would do together. It was often movie tickets, but once they ended up at the roller derby to celebrate Will's birthday. Emily smiles at that memory. She opens the envelope and finds a voucher for a place called the Colorado Hitting Club. _Boxing? Fight club? Oh, baseball. Hmm._ She remembers the awkwardness of the first time he tried to teach her how to swing a bat. She sees the attached note: "Emily, I promise you will actually like the batting cages if you baseball another try. To sweeten the deal, the vanilla latte and muffin at the great bakery next door will be my treat too. Happy birthday, Will."

She shoves aside her still-conflicted feelings for Will to reach for the last gift bag. She recognizes Micah's handwriting on the tag. She sighs deeply—so many conflicted feelings here, too. Still, her heart starts to beat faster as she peeks inside. She sees packs and packs of Ring Dings tied together with a neat ribbon. The note folded inside says "Emily, I checked each expiration date personally, and this stash is guaranteed not to go stale for another two years, at least. Remember, these are only to be used as a last resort, when not even your Chief Resident can talk you down. Micah." _Much more personal than a bottle of wine_, she thinks contentedly.

The dryer buzzer pulls her out of her thoughts, and she happily shoves everything but the birthday gifts back into the closet all jumbled together. She makes her bed and climbs into it gratefully. She's asleep before she can pull the second blanket up to keep her warm.

* * *

The room is dark and quiet. Gina Bandari sits up and slides her legs out of the bed. She walks stealthily over to the rest of her clothing, and starts getting dressed. Her hands tremble as she buttons up her blouse.

The bedside light switches on, revealing a surprisingly spacious and well-appointed bedroom. AJ sits up against the headboard, arms wrapped around his knees, the blanket covering his legs. Gina doesn't look at him, so she can't see the hurt in his eyes before he can re-establish his poker face. "Can't you stay for a little while, Gina?" he asks quietly.

She freezes in the middle of fastening the top button, still facing the closet. Experience has taught him not to expect a response, so he almost misses it when she whispers, "What for?"

He chooses his words carefully, aware that she will likely leave at any moment, regardless. "Just to talk a little. Or sleep. You don't have to rush off every time."

She turns around, frustrated. "This isn't a relationship," she says icily.

He laughs ruefully. "You've made that perfectly clear, Gina. You can't even bring yourself to say my name." His voice gentles. "But you are here almost every night I don't have call. Is a conversation now and then really too much to hope for?"

"Am I here too often?" she asks, sounding uncertain for the first time since he has known her.

He leaps out of bed. "No! Really, I want you here. Just throw me a bone every so often; let me have a little self-respect." He walks closer to her.

"What do you mean," she hesitates for a moment, "AJ?"

He smiles. One small victory. He sits down on the side of the bed, and is gratified when she sits too. "Take today. Owens and I were joking about which one of us you hate more, as we do. Then she said something about taking your hostility as a sign we're 'good enough to bother with.' I know it's stupid, but the thought that maybe you don't hate me made my day."

She stands up and pulls on her shoes, face impassive once again. "I don't hate you," she says, not looking at him. "I need to go."

"Doesn't he wonder where you are every night?" The question slips out before he can stop it; he has promised himself that he would never ask.

She pauses in the doorway and turns to look at him. "He left before I went on vacation, and we both signed the paperwork soon after. Neither of us is contesting anything, so the divorce will be final soon."

The news stuns AJ. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"This isn't a relationship," she repeats. "I didn't want you to read too much into it, or to develop any. . . feelings."

AJ rubs his jaw. His eyes grow hard. "You don't need to concern yourself with that. I can manage my own feelings."

Gina looks at AJ for a moment. This conversation isn't going the way she expected it to. "You're right. That was presumptuous of me."

"So I'm not a home wrecker?" That thought had been eating at him.

"No. I managed to ruin my marriage all by myself," she says sourly. She turns to leave.

"Gina?" She hesitates. He continues: "Thanks."

She looks puzzled. "Thanks?"

"For talking. And so you know, you're always welcome here. There's even plenty of closet space, if you ever decide you want to sleep here."

She doesn't know how to respond to that, so she thanks him and walks down the hall to let herself out. He lies back on the bed with a smile on his face.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviews! You keep me going when it takes me a long time to write. :) **

**Was anyone else wondering what Micah decided to give Emily for her birthday? Let me know your best guess. **


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